What is 'IT'?

3/52 The Born one-IT

Left home at 18 I cry my first night alone,
with no one familiar around me or the love that I have known.
I’m here to grow up, start a profession, and earn my keep.
Learn to discern new friends and authority, who I am
and what makes my own heart weep.
Life becomes a party, holidays in the sun.
Learn to drink and flirt and debate and have sex with my number 1.
But then one day IT comes, can’t stop crying don’t know why.
I feel unhappy and unsettled, feel a breakdown breezing by.
I want to be back with the comfort of mum and dad and ‘home’.
Need to feel cocooned, protected, to feel safe, and not alone.

Can not explain the feelings, what bought IT on, why IT’s here; why now?
But being quiet, reflective and creative seems to ease the furrowed brow.
Mum brings love and flowers; dad brings hugs and tea;
I spend two weeks in a room making rag dolls for charity.
Nothing asked, discussed or questioned; would be unable to explain,
But friends and family acknowledge that something must have been to blame.
Perhaps the studying? ; the partying? the lack of good sleep and good diet?
But looking back I realize that the born one –IT-
Wished no longer to be quiet.

4/52 What is IT?

IT’s back being noisy
IT’s visited more than once
No point running off back home
But from work I’ll absconce

Luckily I have good friends
Some others seem more cracked up then me
Take a few days to get back on track
Cheer myself up with another party?

I alert the doctor just
To see if IT can be sent away
The frequency of IT’s visits
Now upsets my state of play

Doc plies me up with vitamins
Say’s: “take comfort IT’s not a psychosis”
I read some books and think I understand
How he’s reached his diagnosis

IT kind of seems cyclical
As IT turns up throughout the year
But then IT goes away on a long holiday
So life goes on again with the maximum of cheer!